30 09 2009

It’s been a long time. Well, not much has happened. Just the regular cycle of school and….? No table tennis?! I’ve been out of practice for about a month now due to SAT practice tests. I’m taking the real test soon. I’m pretty worried about my score because I’ve been averaging about 1900 on the practice tests. Knowing me, I am not the smartest kid around the block and I have been struggling with my grades recently. AP Biology and AP US History has been kicking my ass. I made a huge mistake in tenth grade by not taking AP World History and now I am paying the price because I’m having a hard time keeping up with the class in some ways. The first quarter ends soon and I do not want to see any C’s or D’s on my report card. Now in order to do that, I need to learn how to stay focused on school. I need to sleep earlier. I need to get off Facebook. Anyways, enough with my failures in school because that’s not that only aspect of life that I am failing at right now. This school year I told myself that I need to speak up and be more outgoing. I haven’t done shit. I’m still the quiet, scrawny kid as I was in the previous years of high school. What do I need to do? I honestly don’t know. My confidence level is pretty much in the negative levels and I am still too sensitive. I tried writing poems and such to release my emotions, but that did not really help. Yea I sound like a bitchy little outcast because I know that I am truly not the person that people see me as. I feel as if people are basing their opinions of me by looking at the past. Whatever. Fuck that. I wish that I could just take a gun and go on a fucking massacre and kill all the douches at school. And no, I am not afraid to take my own life too.


I’m Back!

14 06 2009

Wow! I just realized that I haven’t updated this in such a long time. A lot has happened since April, such as table tennis-related stuff, the end the school year, and much more. Well, school is over for now. This year went by so fast. In my opinion, it still feels like I need to go to school still. This summer is going to be hectic! Let’s see, I’m attending SAT-Prep & SAT Intensive classes at IvyMax. I’ve also signed up for the vocabulary and counseling program there to help me out with college applications later on. The vocabulary program includes 7000 words to be learned within a year. I am currently behind on that due to busy last weeks of school (Studying for Finals, Projects, etc.). I’m also attending a volunteering camp next week to finish my community service hours for high school. I will be going to the 2009 U.S. Open at Las Vegas, with a prep camp the week before. It’s going to really hot. Recently, I’ve realized that I have confidence issues in table tennis, let alone everyday life itself. I get upset with myself a lot because I feel like I’m behind everyone else. I know it’s because I’m sensitive, but sometimes I can’t help it. I need to tell myself that I am able to do something well.

Last week I got sent to the counseling office because my English teacher thought I was suicidal. It was because of the poems I wrote for the last project of the year. A couple of the poems were really depressing and dark. I understand how someone might get a premonition that I have problems, but I find it just to be silly. The last day of school was fun. The bus didn’t come so Suchi, Suhau, Phillip, and I walked home, which took about thirty minutes. We stopped by 7-Eleven and Phillip picked up something to drink while I got a Snickers. When we arrived at Hart, Suchi and Suhau’s dad saw us and picked us up. I spent some time over at their house playing some Halo 2. I’m so bad at console shooters; I prefer PC shooters. Afterwards, I went to the Park with them and played basketball.

I picked up a DS Lite and got Pokemon Platinum. Yes, I know it’s strange to see a high schooler playing Pokemon, but I just got back into it for no apparent reason. So that’s what I’ve mostly been playing with the occasional Rock Band 2.


4 04 2009

I’ve always wonder what’s the easiest way to kill yourself.

Something painless, tranquillizing, and fast would do, don’t you think?

All your pains in life would be washed away in a second. All your worries flow out of your mind. You are finally free.

A Word to Teachers and Coaches

27 03 2009

To all the coaches and teachers around the world:

  1. Try not to favor one player/student over another.
  2. If you are going to choose favorites, try not to reveal it too much to other people.
  3. Don’t only care about the people who will become successful or extremely talented.
  4. Do NOT forget about the “average” person. Not everyone can live up to your expectations.
  5. Do not excessively show kindness to one individual just to piss off other people on purpose.

I know this post was random, but I just wanted to get some things off my mind.

“Teacher’s Pet”

22 03 2009

Recently I’ve been frustrated with the reason why teachers, coaches, and others have their so-called favorites. Why can’t they just treat everyone in a nice, general manner? They always fall for such silly acts like sucking up. They may not think that others see this “favoritism”, but for some strange reason, I do. I think I might be the only one that gets really bothered by it, which I shouldn’t be. DuringĀ  activities, I can always seem to notice it and then I start thinking out it, which leads to me getting off-task. I ask myself this. What the quailities that they have and I don’t, which gets people to like them a lot more? I try to brainstorm reasons, but cannot come up with a strong reason that makes me understand why someone likes someone else so much. I conclude this “problem” with this. There are many different factors contributing to the reasons of having favorites.

They include:

  • Race
  • Gender
  • Work Ethics
  • Age (yea believe it or not)
  • Potential

There are many more, but here are some that I’ve seen/encountered with personally.

Bye Yuta.

18 03 2009

Today I took the final part of the California High School Exit Examination (CAHSEE), which was about Mathematics. It was so easy. There were also some funny moments when people started coughing like crazy, knock down tables, and clap randomly for people who finished their exam. I enjoy “testing days” because you pretty much get to skip a couple periods of class. For example, for the past two days I have missed Art, English, and History. In my opinion, those classes are extremely boring so I’m fine with missing a few days. Anyways, my English and History teacher said we won’t be doing much during these two days. However, I’m afraid I will be behind in Art because I am one of the only Sophomores in the class and we are doing this leaf project with watercolors. I have three quizzes tomorrow; History, Spanish, and Chemistry. I am not worried about Spanish, however History and Chemistry might be a little tough. I am looking forward to playing badminton in P.E. tomorrow. Today’s so-called “Mile” was boring and pointless. The teachers said to “run the straights, and walk the curves”, but everyone just walked everything and the teachers didn’t even say anything about it.

One of my good friends, Yuta Haguro, is leaving for Japan tomorrow. I was not expecting this, although I found out the news way before many people. He is one of my best friends and a great training partner for Table Tennis. We experienced a lot together and had many happy times. I first met Yuta at a Table Tennis Summer Camp at The Top-Spin. It was my first time there, and Stefan told him to warm up with me. We practiced and got to know each other a tiny bit that summer. I didn’t see him again until I left Concord Table Tennis Club and went to Palo Alto Table Tennis Club. I merely waved to him and said “Hi”. The next summer, I also attended the Summer Camp except this year I would go there for many weeks. I eventually got to know him very well and we became good friends. I started to stay later and come earlier before & after training to “hang out” with him (and others). After each weekend, we would get to know each other more and more. I could say that the “best time” we spent together was at the U.S. Nationals in Las Vegas of December 2008. It was great, but I will NOT forget about the countless memories at Palo Alto. I am very sad to see him go back to Japan, but am happy for him at the same time. I hope he has a great time there and improves in Table Tennis. I just hope he doesn’t forget about other friends and I. Good luck and have fun, Yuta. I will miss you.

New “Home”

18 03 2009

I have just switched from Blogger to WordPress. This will be my new blog about random things about my life. I do not really regret leaving my old blog because some of my posts were immature and juvenile.

Today I took the first part of the California High School Exit Examination (CAHSEE). This part was about English-Language Arts. There were three parts:

  • Reading Comprehension
  • Essay Writing
  • Vocabulary/Grammar

In my opinion, the hardest part was the essay because of the prompt. I couldn’t really connect to it and come up with brilliant ideas. I am pretty sure that the essay also took the longest out of the three sections. Some of the reading comprehension questions were a little hard because sometimes there were two choices that seemed to work. However, some questions were downright easy. Tomorrow I will take the second part of the CAHSEE, which will be about Mathematics. I will have to go to school earlier in order to get a good seat. Wish me luck, for this exam determines a student’s future & reputation among his/her class. I am sure that no one wants to be known as “the kid who failed the CAHSEE.” I also stayed longer after I finished because I didn’t want to go to third period. Tomorrow I am not going to intentionally stay longer because I actually have classwork to do, and I don’t want to fall behind on it. Although I am going to miss class, this week is going to be pretty calm. I only have homework in Chemistry, Algebra 2, and Spanish III. My mother keeps on nagging me to sleep early, because she thinks that the CAHSEE is an important and challenging exam. I only agree with her on one thing; The CAHSEE is important.